Skulling day

its a 4th day of school dy...i still haven catch up anythg n i can feel d pressure...its quite hard in all subject but i will try my best to do it..n i have passed my pce exam n waiting 4 investment link exam......wish me luck..i thk it will alrite 4 me......i wont failed anythg anymore...tis is d words i wan say...say no to FAILED.......can i?????o juz say it???i oso nt sure but i will try my best coz i pay for it.......

BAck..

i m back....long time din write blog...many up n down in my lifes recently..many things have change..i have 2 accept it in positive ways....i oso dono i m in wat situation.....happy ???sad????.......hahaha..i ownself oso dono....nw continue my advanced diploam....2molo gonna start it..so gambateh in study...let it be natural........back 2 study n normal life.......i dono i have choose a right decision anot..so have to accept it.......once i have decided thn do d best n graduate it...don thk other thg.........

22/8/2011

2day is d fourth exam subject...hohoho...gonna end soon...wan 2 meet my dear next week.......dono it will sumthing gud happen o bad...i oso confuse wit it but i feel thr is a opportunity on me.....so try on my best.......its gud 4 me...she can make me happy n talk talk wif me when i m down..........she really make me so lover her.......but thr is a gap thr nid 2 be settle b4 v can together..........i miss her everytime n care bout her........she is my angel.......hope everything goes well tis fri...most probably i will go find her......cant wait 4 tis.......hope can give her a surprise.....hehehe...wish me luckk ya...........

16/8/2011

Its a wonderful morning......exam day will start on 2 days more....lets count down......i like prepare nt well but i think can make it coz U r support me.........i dono whether our relationship is frenzzz o further...but i will appreciate ur decision..........U give me more motivation ...... v seem like in relationship but thr a a blocking sign thr.......i like do a bad thing....hw was it???? go o nt go???i thk thr is a opportunity but ...................nvm..but tis few days i m so happy wit u..........I long time nt so happy juz bcoz of u i m here .............energetic is back........LOve you ya......

study 4 exam....

Exam is around the corner so nid study hard to pass wit flying colours.....can i do tis???????i keep study study but nth is in my mind...hw was it????it left 10 days but i think its too long but d reality its nt...its so less time........nid burning midnitez oil to rush ...........tis time muz pass all in order 2 graduate n continue advanced diploma........so cant failed......gambateh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!everyday keep study but mind still thinking of her....... y a????????????all is over..............pls come back my mood n energy..................

sat life...

it was half day already ..i have do nth..juz read notes n dreaming......i try 2 forgot her but y i cant do so...ppl wish 2 do wat is their problem ......y i so stupid n continue think bout it????all is over ......i will get into trouble if still continue like tis.....so i nid 2 cool down n let it become normal.........i feel so dissapointed after i do many thing...at last noe all is uselessssssss....come on start on new life..........gambateh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!nt worth 2 sad coz of it n have to life peacefully n happily........be positive....i say 2 myself like tis but i nt always can accept it.....always think back d same thing n say impossible but to the end its possible.......it was a lesson 4 me........

I m back again 4/8/2011...

I m back after few weeks din write blog......many thing happen around me ....gt bad o good....it was like a roller coaster flying in d sky.....up so fast n down oso so fast....happy n sad in my heart ...final is coming soon so i will concentrate on my studies n wont think anything else...everything is over ...overrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.......juz back be me....Normal KOK JIT LEONG is back........hahahahahaaaha.....Final left 2 weeks..nw count down waiting 4 it........n planning my holiday nw....think of holiday oso gud but nid past final ony can go play........holiday is waiting 4 me.....................

All pass so fast....

Sport carnival have been past n its 2 days past...i play like shit...y m i so useless????always like tat?????i hate my self very much.......................all thing become nt smooth n in problem.......The thing make me no mood at all.n all my thing become unwell managed n make my thinking nt normal.....i really very sad but cant gt d answer.......i can guess d answer but cant gt a appropiate answer....i nt dare 2 ask n d prob cant be solve.....KOK JIT LEONG u r so uselessss.............................T.T.......can i should loudly???????

22/7/2011

2day went to shop but nth do...no biz=no income....its so down......wat oso dun have....sad 2 hear tat no biz.......then sit sit sit wait biz come...........around 2.30 i went back to my cousin hs to c baby.....d baby was cute...it always smile.......happy when c it......it like so fragile ,so scare when touch it.......after tat when 2 dinner at jinjang...it was nice dishes....all is my favourite........after tat went back uncle hs eat durian ,cempedak,fruits ...its damn fulll...another full of foods day.......my diet plan failed le..........ishhhhh!!!!!!!!!

sing k + bbq steamboat...

2day go sing k after class at kota damansara (loudspeaker)..its a new k box....overall is gud but d time is too short..juz 3 hours nia.....like awhile ony.......6 of us r going.............then after tat v go klang 4 bbq steamboat.....chat many thing n eat alot.....all keeping laugh laugh laugh..........n our table is most noisy table...but v don care n even keep noisy around......eat many types of foods n all campur campur..it was so full......long time din enjoy like tis.........2day enjoy 999...n my feeling is back....but my gps is spoil le...cant think direction dy but nvm..its ok d....i really so happy 2day...........arghhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i love 2day......

Badminton day wit classmate....

2day is badminton day wit classmate..its was wonderful....16 of us r going......v play from 4.30-7.30...its really tired but its gud coz all together in a activities....hahaha......all play till excited.....many funny moments happen n it was very memorable.....after play badminton then we went to yum cha n haddinner but i din ate...juz chat around.......happy feelings....

everything back normal.........

everything become normal n my feel 2 her is back..i think i angry wrong ppl but still gt question in my heart......but d question willl nt gt answer...nvm..i will think positively and do d right thing.......i am very happy n my confidence is back.........wit XXX..my everything is back.......although nw is nt d right time but i will find a right time 2 do it........i really love her very much...can i live without u??????its nt.....from tat day i noe d news my heart rily broken tis show hw deep my love 2 u...but anyway i will do my best to fulfill ur needs..i will support n help u secretly.i rily wan show my love to u but nw haven reach d right time..i hope u will understand it...i m ready but u i think u r nt ready 2 go in a relationship yet.....tis is all my feels but i din ask her coz if i ask her everything will change le....i scare it become worst............so better dun do anything....

uselesssssssssss.............

jit leong u r a uselesssssssssssss ppl.......................always mafan ppl............i oso dowan mafan ppl but wat i do u all nt satisfy.............wat can do?????i oso feel i m very uselesssss ,nth gud i can do.......i feel very down down down ................i nt angry my frenzz....i juz hate myself........hate myself very much.............always do assignment oso will gg.......its true????????

Pass time very fast......

2day 6am received call from uncle...i think i am oversleep n late 2 work...where noe is my uncle call gt 1 kes...gt work..hahaha...its really funny...i really shock dao coz scare oversleep....then go work whole day...i din think anything n focus on work ony.....its was amazing......my mind is empty...i like tis.......Dinner wit my kau fu....he come from ipoh..........have a wonderful dinner....nice dishes around wit family feels...all eat until wan vomit coz its too many dishes on table.....n nid da bao d remaining dishes......nw wait it 2 digest n eat fruits ......wahahahahahahahaa..i love 2day very much.......

15/7/2011

2day nth special...boring juz wan write my feelings......ytd play badminton 4 whole day....1st session play wit classmate then 2nd session play wit uncle.....i dono hw express my feeling..it was really hurt coz of something......so i smash 9999 2 release my feelings....it was irritating......y i play so cha????........i really hate myself very much.............gt advice from my best frenzzz ,all say me stupid n think nonsense......its i do wrong??????i really try very hard 2 forget it.............."belum try belum tau......tis phrase they give me....so dont give up without doing anything..u will regret 4 whole life.........if continue like tis ,all will d same,n still gt XXXXXXX in my mind.........after all advice i sleep well n din think nonsense.....2day go work then c ppl 21 years old pass away.....my feelings is so sad,.....so i advice u all gt anything pls do it n do watever u wan..if nt u will regret forever.....life nw is unpredictable.....if 1 ppl wan go then it will go..u cant stop it...........i saw many sad thing 2day....pity of their parents........so i will continue do wat i wish......gambateh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Holiday but ......

YTd go genting n kuala selangor....tis was amazing n very tired journey but i dun mind be driver whole day because i was happy wit it but unfortunately my mind keep thinking XXX.....i wan 2 forget it but i cant make it..it was so tough n deep........v go in genting theme park n play exciting activities such as roller coaster,solero shot and others...v play roller coaster many times n i was shout loudly 2 release stress n all my unhappy thing ...but it does work on me ...i shout loudly but my mind still in same condition......i have to try hard 2 forget it.....after genting then v go kuala selangor 2 have meal.....our meal is SEAFOOD meal...it was nice view and d food delicious too....i like d environment..........Driving in a dark road n silent car make me thinking alot of thing...i was unhappy when thinking it so i try 2 talk wit others 2 stop thinking....I reallly enjoy d trip ..THX my frenzzzzzzz......................

T________T

2day i found sumthing that will make me even fall coz it prove tat wat i think in heart is wrong ...n i have make wrong statement....wat i think is wrong n happen in another way....ONce i see it ,it really hurt me deeply ........no mood once saw it...but i nt confirm that is wat i think anot but i feel gt 99% is true.......that mean me in out of chance....wat i done b4 is uselessssssssss....n i think i m really useless cant done even a small thing............stupid !!!!!!!!!!!!hate myself......!!!!!!!!!!!!!!tis is d unexpected result ..i really cant accept it............when thr is opportunity then nt appreciate it then it will gone..................tis is i most regret.........if wan stand up i don even have 1% to stand up.......tis show i m really in trouble.......wat i have 2 do is stay happy but can i??????erm!!!!!!!?????

Thinking nonsense.....

dono hw 2 express my feeling...........haizzzz...its totally thinking about same thing everyday .....d thing will flash in my mind once awhile.i think it in a positive way but thr no reason i can support my thinking ...but if i think in a negative way then i will totally will nt believe d reality n my heart more pain.....my heart is explain like d pic above........i totally wat can i do???if wat i guess is rite then me more ng gam sam.....haizzzzzz.....

.ytd whole nitez thinking of it and cant even sleep and rotate it to positive way so i wont so regret......i will more angry when think it...but wat can do again????????????????nth can do...juz wait n c .......

Finally i have make decision....

I have make decision in lecture class juz nw...i use 1 hour+ to make decision..its a hardest decision 4 me to make it because it influence my poverty n study so have to make it clearly.once i go d cfp then my money gone.....cant work......no work no no $$$$$...haizzzz.........but most important nw is study..so money gone is nt a problem........sue meng n chee keong explain and advice me ........thx 2 them............i use money gone but gt certificate...tis is worth so have 2 work on it once accept it....nw my brain so bluring but.........no choice........i cant think anything nw...argh.......i nid motivation..........

BAck again...hahahaha...

It was boring till nth do then i start 2 write blog again....my mind is like unusual..think many things and i very fan nw.....dono wat should do n hw 2 do........personal and skul thing oso hard 2 handle.....its hard 4 me 2 make decision.......i dono whether wanna take CFP anot???coz its clash wit my working time....if i miss work 1 day then my opportunity cost lose is much.haizzzzzzz.......everyday think of it.....make me cant sleep........if take CFP my future is brighter then if nt take then ......i oso dono.......left least time 4 me to think about it.........